Vandread: Public service announcements
by The 483
Summary: Some of the cast of Vandread, take time to inform the people about problems effecting the American public.
1. Chapter 1

Vandread, PSA 

This is just a fun thing I want to do, so don't let it ruin my other story for you. I just love the idea of the charters of a show, doing a public service announcement as if their actors taking time to talk to the people about important things like on the venture brothers, when they talked about testicular torsion, or family guy on killing strippers. This has **Nothing to do with The Next Experament!** It will probably be the only time I use the dialogue format, so it will look like reading a script.

Disclaimer: I don't own Vandread, or any other of the name brand franchises I use, so don't think I do.

**Public service announcement**

The director walked onto the stage, where chairs for all the main characters of the show he'd been hired to direct by some guy that just sent in scripts, and told him to work some magic. Barnette, Jura and Meia were already on the set talking about whatever girls like to talk about. Dita walked in from a door to the left of the stage.

Dita: Damn, I just got my ass handed to me!

Barnette: How'd that happen? I thought you were good.

Dita: I am, but the little bastard kept hogging the plasma sword, and it is just a cheap shot all the time!

Jacks voice drifted through the door.

Jack: You're so full of crap, I didn't use the sword at all, and it was Pinky!

Barnette: it's been so hard to get anything done since you got Xbox live, terry.

Director: yeah, but I get bored watching you all prancing about, screwing up your lines, I go take it out on some noobs.

Jack: take that, plasma grenade to the face!

Barnette: could you get out here and so we could get this over with? Some of us have places to go.

Jack walked out of the room, and leaned against the doorframe.

Jack: Who? Can't be you, all you do is go home, watch TV and eat frozen waffles all night.

Barnette: Shut up, freak!

Jack: Hey! Don't start this again, you asked me out. I told you it wasn't special effects, that I really could do those things, you said you'd be fine, but one public display, and now your being a bitch.

Barnette: What did you just call me!

Jack: I think you heard me. Hey, here's a fun fact for you, you know those little green panties that we used in episode ten?

Barnette: yeah.

Jack: they really are yours, not one of the camera crews.

Barnette: You dirty son of a!

Director: please, please, let's just get this over with! Take your places.

Everyone took his or her seats, and the director called action.

Jack: Hello, I'm Jack Spencer, you kid's may remember me from such shows, and fills as; Vandread: The Next Experiment, Cheerleaders gone Crazy, and Great big Balls of fire…

Terry: Cut, Cut, just read from the script, please.

Jack: But some of my best material comes from adlibbing!

Terry: Yes, but this is a PSA, not an episode of the show! Get it right, so we can get out of here.

Jack: Hello, I'm Jack Spencer, from Vandread, The Next Experiment.

Barnette: and I'm Barnette, and today were her to talk about a problem that is currently go America in a strangle hold.

Jack: we are of course, talking about Necrophilia.

Barrette: Yes, this is a problem that nerds and Communist Bastard like that fat Piece of crap Michael Moore practice. They are now trying to spread it to others, but we here are trying to help, by keeping you at home informed.

Jack: Our fellow cast members will now show you what you should, and shouldn't do if asked to do Necrophilia. Enjoy.

Barnette and Jack moved of stage and the light grew on a room, a high powered Computer on a desk, Hibiki, hair greased down, his teeth bucked out in front, large, thick glassed over his eyes. He was wearing a white shirt with a pocket protector, and plaid pattern pants. A knock came at his door, and he shuffled over to the door, and opened it to reveal Meia and Jura both standing there, there clothes were all red, and they where wearing large fur hats.

Meia: (in deep voice) You come with us to grave yard and practice Necrophilia with us?

Jura: (in deep voice) Just like Comrade Michael Moore?

Hibiki: (pre-pubescent nerd voice) Sure, let me just put on my sweater, and grab my puffer!

The lights faded, and Barnette and Jack walked back on stage.

Barnette: the answer that the young nerd should have given would be "screw you commie bastards, get of my property before I blow your Soulless Red asses off!"

Jack: yes, remember, when you have sex with dead bodies, you're only helping the Communist's destroy our country. Good night, and remember

Everybody: Don't Help the Commies!

The film stopped rolling, and the director applauded.

Terry: Excellent! Only one take! Well, see you all tomorrow.

He walked into the room, and the Xbox could be heard starting up.

Jack: hey, Barnette? Wanna go get a coffee?

Barnette: sure, beats frozen waffles. Just promise you won't blow the waiter up this time.

Jack: Hey, if they don't get the order right on the fifth try, they disserve to die. Besides, there was enough of him left, that with a little creative use of sawdust, they could have a funeral with something in the coffin.

Meia: Can I come?

Jura: Me too?

Hibiki: And me!

Barnette: sure, but you all have to take a separate car, Because Jura stinks to high hell!

Jura Hey!

The end. Thank you, just had to do this, cause I hate Communists, but like making fun of their beliefs. Remember I just referanced the carater from the Next Experament, but this still has nothing other than that to do with it!


	2. Chapter 2

Vandread, Public service announcement 

# 2 y'all, and let's just say that they'll be some bashing today!

**#2: Walking the path to evil**

The director opens the door of his beat-up old junker and opened the door to his studio in the Nutcase Industries© recording studios super complex, where all the other strange show were made. He walked onto the set to view yet another argument by his cast.

Jack: Why the hell does that prestidigious jack-ass get to do this one, and I have to play the filthy god damn mud slinger!?

Barnette: Shut up dumbass, you don't even know what prestidigious means. And it's still

better than what I have to do.

Jack: Yeah, but you all know my motto isn't this shit.

John: And god knows you've never participated in either end of your "motto."

Director: Alright, alright, let's just get this over with so I can get paid.

The lights go out as the cameras get in place. Several beam lights focus in on a desk with an angular emblem carved into the front. Behind the desk sat Duerro in an anchorman outfit, holding a stack of papers. Behind him a sign declaring the "483 news network" shown brightly.

Duerro: Good evening ladies and gentle men. Tonight we bring you the latest on our brave troops fighting the horrible red menance. Top scientists have just made a frightening discovery in finding out ow your average citizen can fall from innocent civilian to loathsome bastard. We have created this dramatic reenactment of skits showing the path, narrated by our very own parfait.

Parfait: Thank you, first, we have the lowest and most common rung in the "ladder of evil!"

(The lights fade and open onto the lawn of the white house, where a bunch of immobile people are holding up sighs with stupid slogans on them. Jack is the only one moving, and is shouting various anti-war phrases.)

As you can see, protesters provide vast numbers, but little follow-through and organization. They are content on blaming others, most likely who ever holds the presidency, for their problems. They lack the will to move up and try to change things, and thus are mostly just an annoyance rather than a threat.

Most protesters take the titles of things such "environmentalists" or other such thing under the insidious umbrella called "Activism." Your general anti-smoking advocates are located here.

Moving on…(the scene changes to the switching to the fronts of all natural food markets.) We have the Vegetarians. They, closely coupled with the more extremist vegans, are mostly unaware that they are actually helping bring about the downfall of capitalism. But besides their bad choices, they are practically harmless. Our next group however, are mostly agreed to be the most loathsome and horrible of them all just short of the chief communists themselves. (The scene changes again to a dirt field filled with filthy looking tents.) This rung of the ladder incorporates the worst parts of the previous groups and rolls them all into one giant, shoeless, non-bathing, pot smoking anti-war monger. (Barnette appears in a tie-died non-leather outfit with a purple head band and a sign with a peace sign painted on it. She keep shouting things about how the government needs to give money to help the illegal aliens have more power to take over the country.)

The hippie could be the most dangerous ally to communist's anti-war front, but luckly, they're all to stoned to do much. The only actual way they really help their eviler allies, is by buying the marijuana supplied by the head communist agents. (He scene fades to black.)

The democrats and liberals work on controlling congress and the presidency, while the pure socialists, lead by Michael Moore plan covert strikes to further damage the power and reputation of true Americans.

Finally, you have the true leaders, the full fledged communists. While at this time we have not identified these individuals, we shall keep our diligent followers in the loop.

Thank you and goodnight."

(Duerro reappears in his anchor chair, surrounded by the rest of the cast.)

Duerro: Thank you America.

Rest, Except Jack: and watch the back alleys for evil commie slime balls!

Jack: and remember, if you elect another Clinton, you just helping them win.

(The lights go out)

The End.


End file.
